Wednesday, 5 December 2007

zomg UT3 is teh sux0rz :( Epic FAIL.

Sad, but true: UT3 is 90% suck.

The eye-candy is spot on, for the most part: it does look very pretty indeed. Certain elements of the game's looks have come on in leaps and bounds - vehicles, for instance, look pretty frickin' sweeeet now. The maps are detailed and gorgeous to look at. The characters are pretty good looking too, although their animation still looks clunky and cartoonish.

Over all, visual quality is top notch. Indeed, reviewers everywhere seem to have noted this and heaped praise upon it, and for good reason.

Sadly, there's very little else positive to say about it. Vehicles (for the most part) handle a lot more like vehicles and less like bricks. That's good. Some have fared better than others in the "upgrade" though.

Scorpions have received possibly the most mixed blessings of the "upgrade"... Their blades are now at the front, making them look like Scorpions in an "Oh, yes! Now I see it!" kinda way. On the other hand, they no longer fire those tricky to use (but powerful) energy string jobbies. Now they fire frickin' Oreo cookies. I mean, really.

Not that those Oreo cookies aren't deadly. In fact, on higher difficulty settings in the Campaign mode you'll be hard pressed to find an instance of a bot missing its target with them. Ah, let me rephrase that: you'll be hard pressed to find an instance of an enemy bot missing. "Your" bots, your team, your AI chums... ah, not so much. Turns out that they're semi-catatonic retards.

That bot "AI" is a real bastard. UT3 has four difficulty levels: "Easy" (i.e. walkover), "Normal" (i.e. tricky at times, but not that hard), "Hard" (i.e. massively frustrating) and "Insane" (which I have yet to try, but based on previous experience I'm not expecting it to be even remotely possible).

Here's one of the things that's wrong, and really badly wrong: no matter how good you are, you'll struggle on "Hard" difficulty because your bot team mates are so mind-numbingly retarded that you'll wish you could teamkill them. If you're anything like me, once a match is beyond the point of no return, you'll spend those last few minutes (in overtime, natch) contriving ways to punish them. For some reason, the enemy AI seems to be spot on, however.

Time after time after time I've seen my "team" doing such retarded things as:
Dropping the flag (knocked off a hoverboard) and not bothering to pick it back up but just running back to base without it.
Deploying the Leviathan in a location where it simply cannot see anything it might want to fire at, such as nodes, cores, or even enemies. Hell, I'm sure that they only deployed it there (FOUR times in one particular match) because they couldn't figure out how to wedge it somewhere so stupid so that it was unrecoverable.
Picking up the orb right next to a critical node, and then running away with it. Go bots! That'll stop the enemy in their tracks.
Sitting in powerful vehicles firing shot after shot into the walls/floor. Keep it up bot, I'm sure that the seven-hundredth shot into that wall will actually hit whatever the fsck it is that you think you're targetting.
Jumping in the path of my just fired rockets/flak causing my messy death and a cry of "same team!" from them.
Taking the enemy flag and yelling "I'm under heavy attack here!" for as long as they live. You know why they're under heavy attack? Because the retards haven't even tried to leave the enemy base.
Sometimes they do try to leave the enemy base. But then tragedy strikes! Maybe they left their wallets in there, or something, because right back in they go! One time the retardobot made it all the way back to the flag stand, no mean feat I might add - and only thanks to my covering fire.

I'll not get into the whole "trying to cast a tournament game as a single-player 'story' like game" thing. The story kinda works in the sense that it more or less justifies the series of tournament games you actually play. I could have done without the cries of "fo' shizzle" and "you da man, daaawg", etc. mind you. What really spoils the "story", such as it is, is that it's short. Oh, and it has a blatant "sequel" ending on a par with Merchandising, oops, Pirates Of The Caribbean 2. After fighting both annoyingly good enemies and amazingly bad friends to get that far, you deserve more.

OK, so single-player kinda sucks. The single redeeming feature of UT3 over 2k4 in this regard is that you "can" now play the campaign through with your friends (or even complete strangers on the internet) replacing any/all of the bots on your team. That alone fixes the single-player campaign, by making it not single-player. Oh. Um. Errrr.... And, you see how I said "can" with the quotes and everything? Well, that's because it's supposed to be possible, but might not work out so well. My UT3, for instance, fortified as it is with the 1.1 beta 1 patch simply refuses to let me host anything because it's got some insane notion that my router doesn't have port-forwarding enabled properly for UT3 (which it does).

Anyway, enough "single-player" bitching.

Sadly, multi-player is annoying as hell too.

UT2k4 requires finesse... you have to flow around the maps... UT3, well... the vehicles might not move like bricks now, but the players certainly do. It feels like UT99 with lead boots on. There's no fluidity at all.
I read one review where the reviewer liked this because it meant that movement was no longer a vital skill in the game. Really.

Then there's the changes to the weapons... they feel nowhere near as meaty as they did in 2k4 (or even 99). It's a bit subjective and hard to pin down, but they just feel more tacky.

We've lost Assault, Onslaught, Double Domination, and Bombing Run and gained... Warfare. Okay, so WAR is supposed to be a mishmash of AS, ONS, and, to a certain extent, 'classic' DOM - and for the most part it is. But BR is just gone. *poof* It's a crying shame since BR is one of, if not the, most skilled gametypes in the 2k4 collection.

Movement, strategy, teamplay, thoughtfulness under pressure - all are vital to success in BR. And all seem to be playing a dim second-fiddle to the eye-candy and "mayhem" of UT3. This is most obvious in the WAR gametype... AS and ONS both required finesse and skill. In WAR the orbs turn the whole game into a much more frantic, deathmatch-like experience. The same's true of the translocator in CTF - it sucks now. Yeah, you can get around with it, but it no longer requires skill and finesse to use effectively, because you simply can't use it anywhere near as effectively as in 2k4.

I would say that UT3 is the UT2003 of 2007, but that would be being unkind to UT2003. Sure, UT2k3 was a massive leap forward in graphics quality, just as UT3 is, and yes it also sucked, just as UT3 does... but
oh boy does UT3 suck.

You might have noticed that I haven't mentioned the menus and UI at all so far. There's not anything in particular wrong with them, honestly. There's everything wrong with them. They're an abomination that should never have seen the light of beta-testing, never mind release. The only thing that's any good at all about them is that they whoosh around in a quite unnecessary manner. For that matter, that gets old pretty damn quickly and goes from being 'good' to being a bloody pain.

The whole GameSpy ID thing is a damn nuisance too, and adds nothing to the experience. Sometimes it completely replaces the experience with a login failure, for instance. Other times you might think that it's logged in OK only to find that your "Friends" list is now empty. Turns out that it isn't logged in anymore. No idea why. The only positive aspect that I can think of is that player's names will now be unique. Having been impersonated in the past (and by a foul mouthed, racist bot at that) I'm all for there only being one {R$A}Adny, however it's really not worth this much hassle and frustration.

Even the sound is a pain in the ass. There is no comfortable setting for volume. Everything is either too loud or too quiet. The announcer overwhelms everything.

Speaking of the announcer, one of the improvements in UT3 is that announcements now get 'queued' so that they don't get lost. On the face of it, this is a good thing - it always bugged me in UT2k4 that getting a killing spree, etc. with a headshot (very common for us snipers) would basically seem to pick which of the two announcements to play at random. Where this goes horribly wrong is when there's a lot of announcements quickly, and/or when some of the announcements are important and 'time-limited' in their usefulness. OK, a "killing spree" is nice to be informed of - but the enemy flag is probably more important. Throw in that bots' messages (and therefore presumably other players') get queued as well and you have near zero chance of a message concerning the flags, etc. actually being meaningful when you hear it. You can, of course, by means of fragging real hard manage to get so many announcements queued up that the pain never seems to stop. Yay. Bear in mind that the bloody announcer is so damn loud that it's overwhelming. Wonderful, it isn't.

Auto-taunts are a pain. Seems like every 13 year old prat just wants to sit and hammer those "taunt" keys at the end (or even during the normal gameplay) of a game. This is, to say the least, annoying. At least in ut2k4 you had some control over which taunts got played... fresh out of luck in UT3 - yet another feature lost. Maybe there's a cryptic ini setting you can twiddle - it's hard to tell, frankly. But I'm extremely annoyed that I even have to think about ini files in this context.

Something I've noticed, switching between UT3 and UT2k4 is that in UT3 everything is "bigger" and more cramped. It's all huge, pretty and in-your-face. Even the menus are 'designer' and intrusive (which is no mean feat when you consider that what they're intruding on is, in effect, themselves). Playing a game of 2k4 after UT3, all the characters look small and the corridors look massive. You know, with room to move.

My overall feeling about UT3 is that it is an epic failure. Epic/Midway have basically turned the magic that is Unreal Tournament into Yet Another Crappy Console Shooter Game. But, oh my, it is pretty. Sadly, pretty though it is, it stinks.

One word review: FAIL.


Zach said...

absolute agreement.

I found this place searching for how to get around that stupid port forwarding error. The game isn't finished yet. This is what happens when a publisher pushes for a holiday release date.

Anonymous said...

Spot on review.

I also found this place in my search for UT3's port forwarding "issues". Even with the latest patch UT3 still sucks, the allied AI still falls amazingly short of being called "decent" and the menus are still designer craptastic. I am so glad that I borrowed it from a friend to try out first! I would never pay more than $20 for this game.

Anonymous said...

Thankfully I paid only 7 bucks on steam over the year-end sale. As a long-time fan of Unreal and UT I too thought UT3 was an epic fail. UT2004 deathmatch and CTF had this addictive quality - it looked great of course but the gameplay was superb. UT3 feels good but the levels, weapons and art are all "overdone" - too much detail, like some artist went haywire on the model and texture design. I didn't like it because it was too in your face and obtrusive - obstructing you from actually playing the game. Effects and ragdoll deaths are far better than 2K4 though.

The screen looks mucky all the time and with the excessive use of bloom, there's no way the screen looks clear and clean. This is a big minus.

Overall a disappointing game. UT has become a dying franchise. Gears of War seems to be better made, but doesn't interest me.

Its high time they revived the original Unreal game and made a true sequel to it that looks realistic and is addictively playable.